Tis’ The Season…
Okay, now that Thanksgiving is over, it seems everyone is ready to jump right into the Christmas season. The days seem to accelerate towards Christmas and New Years this time of year and we all get so busy that we blink and the holiday is here already. It already feels that way to me. I spent a week getting ready for Thanksgiving and now that’s over. Sean’s birthday is a week away, and then before you know it, it’s Christmas. There’s a lot to do, and of course, never enough time to do it. I keep saying I wish I had more time to get on here and do some blogging, but there just doesn’t seem to be enough hours in a day sometimes. Oh well, I am going to have to adapt and try harder to do it, no matter how tired I get at night!
I had asked for some suggestions about what to write about, and everything everyone suggested seemed to have a holiday theme to it, so we’ll try that for the next few days unless something else comes along. One thing I always look forward to this time of year, besides decorating for the holidays, is all of the Christmas movies and TV shows that come on this time of year. There’s no shortage of them, no matter what kind of movies you like or cartoons you like to watch or TV shows you follow. It seems every TV series has done at least 1 Christmas show in their run, maybe more if they have been around for a few years. Of course, everyone remember’s “Seinfeld” and their Festivus episode. There are plenty of others that I can recall seeing from the time I was younger right through to today. You can probably go back as far as “I Love Lucy” or even further and find holiday shows.
Movies are the same way. Every year there are a few Christmas-themed movies that come out that get mass marketed. I am sure there are plenty of small, independent movies that most of us never even get to see or hear of that make an appearance as well. They seem to cover all types of genres too. Romantic comedies, tear-inducing dramas, and even horror movies ( I read today there is a new version of “Silent Night, Deadly Night” due out this holiday season). I can remember seeing all kinds of Christmas movies from the time I was young on, and we still watch a large number of them year after year at our house, depending on what mood we happen to be in.
Then of course, there are the cartoons. You can get an endless supply of these as well, going many years back. of course, people in my age group will tell you that all the best Christmas cartoons came out when I was a kid in the late sixties and early seventies. All you have to do is look at the boxed sets of specials they sell on DVD now to see how much people loved every one of those cartoons. You can find Christmas specials for just about any cartoon though, from Bugs Bunny to Fred Flintstone to the Smurfs right on down the line. Do a quick search on Google, YouTube or IMDB and you will find all of them listed.
So that leads me right into today’s question:
What is your favorite Christmas movie, TV show episode or cartoon?
Everyone has one that they like better than others for one reason or another. I know I have several favorites of my own to choose from. It certainly isn’t an easy decision for anyone, but think about what ones you like best and let me know. You can leave your answer on here or send me a message on Facebook or Twitter. I’ll answer myself in my next post. Let’s see what kind of responses we can get for this one. I’ll ask some people on Twitter and see if they reply as well. Maybe we can get some fun answers from some celebrities along the way.
That’s it for today. There’s lots to do. Busy, busy, busy! (which Christmas show is that line from?) Until next time, enjoy your day!
Filed under: Cartoons, Holidays, Movies, Television | Leave a Comment
Tags: christmas, Christmas cartoons, Christmas movies, Christmas TV shows, favorite holiday cartoon, favorite holiday movie
Wow, I got lots of good responses about snack cakes! It’s obviously a subject that many people feel quite strongly about. Michelle and I decided that if she hits the PowerBall this week we’ll take some of the winnings and buy Hostess so we can be sure we’ll have all the snacks we want :). I think a lot of people like to think of the snack cakes one, because they like the taste of whichever one they close, or two, it beings back good memories from your childhood. For me, I was never a big Twinkie fan myself. I can’t even remember the last time I ate one. I do like the Hostess cupcakes, but as far as those cakes go, I would probably choose Yodels or Ring Dings over those other snacks. However, for me, it is all about the fruit pies. I can remember going to the Hostess outlet store when I was younger and you could get all the fruit pies there for like fifty cents. It was great. And Hostess fruit pies are good, but I think Drake’s fruit pies might be even better. Everyone loves opening those package to get those two iced little squares so you can eat the crunchy corners off and as soon s you would bite into one of them, the filling would start to ooze out. I am partial to the apple, although the cherry is good too. It was always a treat if you could find the rare blueberry Drake’s pie. everyone once in a while I would catch one at the convenience store and pick one up. I guess now I just have to wait for someone else to buy the brands and see what they do with it. I read in the paper that people are selling packages, boxes and cases of Hostess items for hundreds of dollars, which seems a little crazy to me, but hey, if you want them that badly, go for it. It is sad that 18,000 people are going to lose their jobs, but it sounds like things have been running poorly at Hostess for quite some time and this may have been eventuality. I am sure some other food giant will at least buy the brand names to keep some of the items going.
Thanks to everyone who took the time to answer me on here, or Facebook or Twitter. A special thanks to Amanda Freitag, David Cone, Alec Baldwin, Boomer Esiason, Tracie Thoms and Debra Messing for taking the time to answer me on Twitter. It was fun to get feedback from all of them on it.
Last week I got the chance to do a tour of Citi Field. I know they were just pitching me so I would buy tickets, which I did, but they arranged to do it on a day when I could bring Sean with me. It would be fun for me because we would get to walk through the whole stadium and down on the field. It might seem silly to some, but for a big baseball fan like me, it was a big thrill and it was even better that I got to share it with Sean. I know it might not have been as much fun for him, and maybe he did it more to do something with me, but it created a memory for both of us that we will both have for a long time.
There are a couple of reasons that it was important to me. I never got to do anything like that with my Dad. We went to a few ball games together over the years, but not many. My Dad worked a lot when I was younger, so he wasn’t home very much to do things like that with us when I was a kid. He was trying to provide a good life for the whole family, that was his priority, and I respect that and thank him for it. I do wish we had gotten to do things like that though. It may not seem like an important thing to Sean right now, other than he knows that it made me happy to have him there, but I hope it gives him something special to look back on when he is older as a good memory for the two of us.
Sometimes I feel like I owe more to him and don’t do enough to try to make up for the time I lost with him when I was sick and what he must have been going through and thinking at the time. I want to do more things like with him and create more memories like that for the two of us. We went to Cooperstown last year, just the two of us, and I think that was something else for us to build on. We go to ball games throughout the year, and I know he doesn’t share my passion for baseball, but that’s okay. We still go and enjoy our time together, even we don’t stay for the whole game sometimes or he would rather be walking around getting pizza than watching the action on the field. So I guess going to the stadium was kind of a secondary thing than to what it actually meant, at least to me.
It’s funny for me to think about, but I can’t believe how lucky I am that he is such a good kid. Sure, I get on him for his messy room, for not being organized, for not trying harder in school, the things parents get on kids for. But when I look at it from another side, he is a great kid who is always good to me. He is almost twelve and gives me a hug every day. He tells me he loves me every day, even at 12, when it might not be so cool to do with your father. And he always asks how I am feeling to make sure I am okay. I can’t even begin to know what he went through when I was sick, and I have never sat down with him and asked him about it. I don’t know if I am more afraid to talk about it and find it out than he is to talk about it.All I can say is that it is my goal now to create better memories with him so we can leave that one bad memory behind us.
That’s it for today. I’m not sure what I’ll get to next time; I’ll have to check my notebook and see what I can come up with. Enjoy the rest of your day, go out and hoard some Yodels and try to create a good memory with someone today, one that you can both look back on and smile about.
By the way, Sean took a lot of the pictures of Citi Field himself, he loves photography. You can see the pictures on my Facebook page. If you want you can also follow Sean’s own blog right here.
Filed under: Baseball, Family, Food, Memories | Leave a Comment
Tags: Citi Field, creating memories, favorite snack cake, Hostess, Ring Dings, Yodels
The End of an Era
It’s been over a week since I have had time to any blog postings. I really need to try to get myself in gear to do this more often. I really enjoy it, it’s just been finding the time to do it that’s the trouble. I guess I really just need to put my mind to make the time to do it more than anything else. It’s all one me to get it done, so I promise to work harder to try to do that. Stepping down in the Lyrica medication has messed me up a little more than I thought it would, but hopefully I am adjusting to it and it will make things a little better. I have had some more problems with foot cramps than I would like since stepping down, which isn’t really a good sign, but we’ll see how it goes. Throw lots of work and getting ready for holiday stuff, and there doesn’t seem to be enough time in a day to do anything anymore. I am going to better about it, I promise.
I guess the best thing to write about today would be both fun and something in the news recently. Yesterday, Hostess announced they were going out of business and shutting their doors. They have been going for several years on borrowed time and bankruptcy, and now they announced they will be gone. Of course, I feel bad for the 18,000 people who are going to lose their jobs over this. Not to make light of it, but I also feel selfish about it and think of all the snacks that are not going to be available. Of course, I am sure they will find someone to buy the brands that they have sold. The name recognition alone of some of the items they carried should bring them something and some company will want to carry on with the trends Hostess created.
Here’s thing about this. Not only is the Hostess brand going down, but the company also owns Drake’s and Dolly Madison, and those are going down as well. All of the brands will be up for sale. They also make a variety of breads, including Wonder and Nature’s Pride. I have never been a big fan of the Wonder Bread (it’s just way too squishy) or the other breads they offer, but they are taking down a hug portion of the snack cake industry by going out of business, which is sad to me. Not just because I love snack cakes (which, sadly, I do) but because it seems like it is just another brand from my youth that is disappearing. Unfortunately, it is the cycle of business and many of these products that I remember from the sixties, seventies and eighties just have not had the sales to continue on or society has changed and made them obsolete. I guess most people never considered that it could happen to all of our favorite snacks all at once, but that is the way it goes sometimes.
Now, to me, there is no use arguing about why it happened. Blame it on poor business management, blame it on the unions, it doesn’t really matter. if the sales were there, they would still be around. That’s the basic point of retail. If you aren’t selling enough to cover your costs, you are not going to succeed, plain and simple. Anyway, as I mourn the demise of Hostess, I know there are other snack cakes available from places like Entenmann’s. Little Debbie, or Tastykake, but they just aren’t the same. So that leads me into today’s question for everyone:
What is your favorite snack cake?
It doesn’t have to be something from Hostess or Drake’s; it can be whatever you like best. it seems to me that most people’s favorites, at least those on the East Coast of the United States, are likely to be from one of those companies though. So which one do you remember fondly eating growing up and probably still love to have as a snack? The one you grab from the convenience store when you are on the road trip to munch on while you drive? You can leave your answers here and I’ll post my answer with my next post, although those who know me well surely know the answer to this already. I’ll ask some people on Twitter too to see if there is any response.
I have thought of some other great ideas of things to write about here the last few days and have jotted them down in my notebooks, so it is just a matter of getting them on here. I promise, I will get to them all in good time. I have my other blog to get to as well and I still have some work to do, so that’s it for today. If you ever have any suggestions about a topic or something you would like to write about, you can leave me a comment here or reach me through Facebook or Twitter. Talk to you next time.
Farewell Hostess.
Filed under: Food, Memories | 7 Comments
Tags: Drake's, Entenmann's, favorite snack cake, Hostess, question of the day
I have wanted to blog for the last few days, but I have had this horrible cold that just does not want to go away. So instead of doing productive things like working, blogging, cleaning the house, etc., I have been sleeping, taking medicine and being generally lethargic and miserable. I am feeling a little better tonight, so I am going to try to do some writing while I still have the energy to do it.
I had asked a question a few days ago about what your favorite snack is while watching a movie. While a lot of people mentioned to me that they like popcorn, I was surprised by the number of people who picked licorice or red vines. When I was a kid, we called them red shoelaces. They were basically just really thin strips of red licorice, but I guess a lot of people still like to much on them when watching a movie. As much as I like to eat movie theater popcorn, it makes my stomach sick nearly every time I eat it. I am sure it is whatever is in the “butter” that they put on the popcorn, which is really just oil that is flavored with butter. As much as it tastes good (and you can emulate this taste at home just by using clarified butter on your popcorn), I just can’t seem to do it much anymore. Another snack I always loved at the movie theater were Red Hot Dollars. Now, these are not to be confused with Red Hots, which are small cinnamon candies that are actually hot. Red Hot Dollars aren’t hot at all. They are really just cherry-flavored chewy candies that stick in your teeth but taste oh so good. You don’t tend to see them as much as some of the other candies anymore, but they were always one of my favorites.
Nowadays I watch most of my movies at home and rarely go to the movie theater. It has to be something I really want to see in order for me to go. Michelle and Sean go to the movies often, maybe once a month or so, but I prefer to watch in the comfort of my home. Since I am at home watching movies, it leaves me to have whatever snack I want, or happens to be in the house at the time. Sometimes I will make popcorn at home, and I still do it the old-fashioned way in a pot on the stove with some oil and corn kernels. I don’t usually put any butter on it all when I am home. I usually just put on a little salt and that’s it. There’s nothing quite like warm popcorn. Other than that, I am a chip guy. I love potato chips, corn chips or any other salty snack and they are perfect while watching a movie.
Thank you for everyone who took the time to answer and a special thank you to Geoffrey Zakarian, Andrew Zimmern and Natalie Maines for taking the time to answer me on Twitter. Tonight, with the election on everyone’s mind and dominating the televisions, I won’t bore you with political talk. I believe everyone’s politics is a personal thing and it’s not my job to try to convince someone or preach about one side or the other. Make the decision that suits your outlook and stand by that, and by all means enforce your right to vote and do so. Once you’re home though, if you don’t feel like watching the seemingly endless election results, it’s a good time to watch a movie. And since it is Election Day, let’s make this the question:
What is your favorite political-themed movie?
There are lots of good ones out there for you to choose from. it can be biographical, historical or even a political thriller. Choose whichever one you really like the best, pop the DVD in (or VHS if you are old school), grab your favorite movie snack, and go to town. There have been a number of movies I have liked in the recent years, so this might be a tough choice. There are even a few older black and whites that I really like which I could also watch again. So how about you? What political movie would you choose? Think about and leave a comment if you would like. I am also going to ask some people on Twitter and see if they respond. I’ll get back to you with my answer in my next post.
That’s it for tonight. I’ll get back to watching election results while I do some more work. This night always makes me think of my Dad. He used to make a whole big thing out of election night and just loved it. He would chart results and watch with real interest. I kind of miss doing that with him. Thinking of you tonight Dad.
Filed under: Movies, Questions | 1 Comment
Tags: favorite movie snack, movie snacks.favorite political movie, popcorn, Red Hot Dollars
It’s funny when I sit down to write things. I have little notepads and notebooks all over the house where I write ideas down all the time. I keep one on my nightstand, one on my desk, one on the table next to my chair in the living room, I even have one in the car. You never know when an idea is going to hit you and you don’t want to lose it, so it’s always good to have a place to jot down a note. I also have a book next to my chair where I do actual writing. Sometimes it just feels better to put a pen on paper then to sit in front of the computer and write. I also think that because I write for a living on the computer, sometimes I just want to get away from the screen because I spend so much time in front of it.
Anyway, I was looking for inspiration on something to write about today because I haven’t blogged in a few days. The hurricane and work have kind of throw everything for a tizzy around here lately. Hopefully all will slowly start to get back to normal around here. Everyone seems so tense and testy, not just out in public around here, but even on social media. People seem to get put really on edge when they got tossed out of their routine and comfort zone that it gets hard to deal with. The whole gas issue here in New York is becoming that way. Even though we are north of New York City, we did still get the effects of the storm and many people are without power still here. It also had an effect on the gas supply and the gas stations. Some were out of power and some just started running out of gas because so many needed it for generators.Long lines have been forming here whenever the local stations have gas and the gas itself doesn’t seem to last long. Officials are hoping everything will be back to normal by the end of the week, but until then people are on edge. At a time of crisis when people should be working to help each other, too many have started to take the attitude of “I come first.” I understand that many have never had to deal with a situation like this before and are scared, stressed and don’t know what to do. These are the people who need our help. What we don’t need is people being mean and selfish at a time like this. Let’s hope it all begins to pass soon.
As for me, I have said before I watch a lot of movies, even more lately since cable has been in and out and we can watch some DVDs. When we do have cable, I very often will watch a movie just because it’s one I haven’t seen before. I end up seeing a lot of movies this way. With more people being at home right now and staying home, it’s a good chance to take advantage of being with each other and watching a movie you can all enjoy. I know many families get together and have a family movie night once a week, where a different person gets to pick the movie for the whole family to watch. We have very diverse movie tastes in our family. Sean and Michelle both would rather watch an action/adventure film. I, on the other hand, while I love horror films, often like to watch a drama, suspense or a comedy film. We don’t usually agree on something we like, but that’s okay; it’s fun to just all be together in one room. It doesn’t seem to happen as much anymore with work and Sean getting older where he wants to do his own thing now.
That kind of gets away from my point for today’s post anyway. I got to thinking about watching a movie. I don’t often go to a theater myself, but lots of people do go. Even if you watch something at home, you like to have some kind of snack while you are watching a movie. So that brings me to a question I would like to ask for today:
What is your favorite snack to have while watching a movie?
Everyone has something they really like. I know, most people will likely say that they like to have popcorn while they watch a movie, and that’s great, but what do you like on your popcorn then? Salt? Butter? That movie theater butter stuff that tastes so good but makes you ill afterwards? Maybe you prefer something from the candy case instead. There are lots to choose from when it comes to that. Milk Duds? JuJu Fruits? Junior Mints (they are very refreshing you know)? Maybe it’s something completely different from all that, especially when you are at home where you may have a much larger selection of things to choose from. Think about what you like best to have as a movie snack and let me know. I’ll give my answer in my next post. I am also going to ask some people on Twitter about this one and see what kind of response I get. I’ll post any answers I get in the comment section here.
Hopefully all of my friends, family and everyone else in the area has begun to everything back in order and back together after the storm. Remember as inconvenient as things may be for you, not having cable or Internet, or having to wait for gas or crowds in the stores or the traffic outside, there are many, many more people who have it much worse off and need help because they lost everything, maybe even a loved one. Be thankful for what you do have and not spiteful for the little inconveniences life throws at us. Offer to help somebody out who may need an extra hand, even if they are too proud to accept. At least you can feel better about having made the effort. Or give something by donating your time to relief efforts or make a donation to the Red Cross to help out. Whatever you can do.
Okay enough preaching. No shush, the movie is starting. Pass the…
Filed under: Family, Food, Movies | 6 Comments
Tags: family movie night, favorite movie snack, helping out, hurricane sandy, watching a movie
Welcome to My Nightmare
It’s Halloween. I have mixed emotions about this day now. I can remember the times from my childhood trick or treating where we would walk for blocks and blocks all over Ozone Park and come back with a huge haul of candy. Back then, you just didn’t worry that much about walking far from home or visiting houses you weren’t familiar with. There wasn’t the same type of fear that exists today for our kids. I guess this gets back more to my post yesterday about fear. It’s a little bit of a different type of fear in that it seems a lot more real than what you hear or see in books or movies, sad to say.
I also have an association with Halloween that I’ll have forever. Three years ago today, I was released from Helen Hayes Hospital and came home for the first time in nearly 6 months. Halloween will always be the day that I got my freedom back, in a sense. When I left Helen Hayes, which is a rehabilitation hospital, there were a lot of ifs having over me. I could barely walk and had to use a walker. I was on oxygen and had a portable tank with me all the time. I was on a lot of medication. But I was glad to be home. It was an odd thing to come back home after being away for so long. I had only been out of the hospital twice in that whole time frame (well, four times actually if you count the two ambulance rides to move me to different hospitals), so it was odd to sit in the car and come back home. I still had 7 more months of physical and occupational therapy ahead of me. I had already done most things that a lot of doctors thought I wouldn’t do. They had told Michelle I was likely going to die. Then they told her I could be on a ventilator for the rest of my life. Then when I came out of the coma, they said I would probably need a wheelchair for the rest of my life. So when I left the hospital with a walker, we already felt like I was ahead of the game.
Doctors told me I would likely be on oxygen for the rest of my life. I was off it in three months. I was able to drive in four months. I ditched the walker in six months. I went from taking 14 pills a day to 6 (and 3 of them are vitamins now). Progress slowed after all of that, but even now, I am a thousand times better than I was three years ago and I feel like I am still making progress (you can check some of my more recent posts about that).
Now on to something that Halloween brings to people. Halloween, of course, is supposed to bring some good scares as well. I guess the emphasis there should be on the word “good.” The scares you see on Halloween aren’t really supposed to hurt anyone. As I talked about yesterday, people get more of a thrill out of this type of scare than any real fear. Real scares seem to come from much different places. And that brings me to the topic I really wanted to get to tonight, which is about nightmares.
Everyone has nightmares at one point in their lives or another. Most of us likely had them when we were kids and outgrew them at some point as we got older. I think I probably had nightmares when I was younger, but like most of us, I don’t really remember what they were. Unfortunately, there are many people who experience nightmares as adults. This happens for a variety of reasons; I think a lot of the time it stems from some type of trauma that a person has suffered and this is the way the nightmare manifests itself. At least, that is what happens to me.
My nightmare started before I left Columbia Presbyterian Hospital. After I had awakened from the coma, they began to start to wean me off of a lot of the medications I had been taking, which was both some strong steroids and very strong pain killers. One of the wonderful side effects of all this was that it put me through withdrawals and I suffered from hallucinations. To add to the fun, I also couldn’t really talk at this point. I was allowed limited amount of talking when they would put a speaking valve in where my tracheostomy was. Most of the time the valve wasn’t in, so I couldn’t talk. Well, I shouldn’t say that; I could whisper, but not enough that anyone could really hear me. Between the hallucinations and the nightmares, I never wanted to be alone in that hospital while I was awake. I used to plead with Michelle to spend the nights with me because I was so afraid to be alone there. I was convinced that whatever I saw in those hallucinations or nightmares was real, and it was coming for me.
Once I got home, on Halloween as you know, the nightmares didn’t stop. The doctors I have kind of chalk it all up to a form of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) that I carry with me and just have to deal with, so I try to deal with it. They can give me medication to help me sleep, but they can’t give me anything to make the nightmare stop. I thought maybe it was time to talk about it and maybe it would help it to go away for a while.
It’s always the same dream. Nothing about it changes. Ever. it does differ slightly from the hallucinations I had. The only real difference is that in hallucinations it would come out of the shadows of the hospital room. Now it just appears next to my bed. What is it? I don’t know exactly, but whatever it is scares the hell out of me. I know that every time I see it, I can’t move when it’s there. When I was in the hospital I couldn’t move either, but that was because I literally couldn’t move. I had tubes and wires all over me and my body wasn’t capable of movement at that point. There was no way for me to escape. Whenever I have the nightmare, that’s what is happening. I can’t move and it feels like it did when I was in that bed. Whatever it is, it knows I can’t move and it knows I am afraid of it. In the hospital, it used to just grab my oxygen tube, put something over my face and smother me so I couldn’t breathe. I could feel the pressure building up in my chest and couldn’t breathe or call out for help. When it happens to me at home, it puts its claw around my throat and squeezes and then wraps something over my face to make sure I can’t breathe. I never die when it happens. I always wake up before that happens, but it sure feels like I am going to die and it sure seems real.
And then I wake up. I wake up and don’t want to go back to sleep for a while, and then eventually I get too tired and fall asleep. The nightmares don’t happen as often as they used to. They have kind of faded over the last few years where I only have them once in a while now. Is the thing that is trying to get me Death? Maybe. Maybe he feels cheated because he didn’t get me the chances that he had at me in the hospital, real or otherwise. Or maybe it’s just symbolic of something else, some part of me that’s still there from when I was sick, deep in my mind somewhere. My hope is that someday it won’t be there anymore. I think at that point I will finally be better.
I know it doesn’t sound like much, but I think nightmares don’t have to be much in order to really scare us. It just has to be something deep inside that is hard for us to get out, hard for us to shed. Hopefully I am not the only person who still has to deal with nightmares, but then again i don’t wish them on anyone, so maybe it’s better if I am, but I don’t think that’s really true.
If you have a nightmare you want to share, you are welcome to do it. I honestly hope it will make me feel better and maybe make this fade away from me, and it might do the same for you. Maybe it will just feel better to get it out into the open. Either way, if you want to share, here is your space. Feel free to do so.
Okay, after talking about fears and nightmares, tomorrow we’ll move on to something lighter, I promise. Enjoy your Halloween.
Filed under: Dreams, Family, Ghosts, Memories | Leave a Comment
Tags: death, dreams, Halloween, my nightmare, nightmares
Phobophobia
I had planned to write about fear all along with Halloween coming tomorrow. It seemed like a good topic that could bring some interesting conversation. With all that has happened in the last few days with Hurricane Sandy and the destruction left in its wake, it seems like an even more appropriate topic.
We all have fear. Some may want to deny it exists within us, but it does, in one form or another. For some people it can become all-consuming, and for some it may even seem to be a bit irrational to people on the outside, but whatever form it may take, it is very real to each one of us. And for everyone it seems a little different. One person maybe afraid of snakes or rats while another person embraces them and has no problem with them. All of it can seem very real to the person involved, and it could be from some kind of trauma or experience that may have occurred early in life. Whatever the reason may be, it’s there and it feels real to each of us.
I have a love for horror movies. Not so much the blood and gore movies that are out there, although they have their place as well. I really like the stories that are going to scare you and that play on your fears. The really scary movies, in my opinion, are the ones that surprise you, but also use the ideas and real fears people have to make things scary. Is it scary when a psycho killer is out there chasing you through the woods or an alien is tracking you somewhere? Sure I guess it is, but it’s more scary when things seem like it is something that could really happen to an everyday person. Now of course we go into these movies knowing they are just movies, but if they are really good, they can plant a little seed in your head and make you wonder “could this really happen? This seems real, what if…” Those are the ones I really like.
Do I have fears? You bet I do. I had some before I got sick and I seem to have even more than I did before. I’ll let you in on one of my fears today and then talk about another one tomorrow. One of the fears I have always had, and it may seem irrational because it is not likely to ever happen (I hope) is about being buried alive. The notion of that paralyzes me. Being trapped in a small space with no way out, knowing that you are going to die and there’s nothing that you can do about it to me is very scary. Now, I’ve never been in a situation that this has happened, and God willing I never will be, but for some reason I have that in my head and it really scares me.
I think there are other fears that will all deal with every day. Maybe we just get startled by something like a spider or a snake. Maybe when we are walking out to the garbage can at ten o’clock at night and hear a noise we jump a little and wonder what it is. Every night when I take the dog outside, I look at this one spot out in the woods, half expecting someone or something to come jumping out of there. Whatever it may be (or not actually be, whatever the case), it is very real to the person who feels it. For some it can carry to the point of anxiety and panic attacks so bad that you can’t even go outside.
So if fear can be so upsetting, why do we love it so much? Why do we like to go to these movies and get scared out of our wits and then think about it all night long, to the point where you need to leave a light on? I think part of it is likely learned from society long ago. Our culture has been rooted in fear for thousands of years, whether it is fear of a higher power, fear of the dark and so on. Children have been told stories for centuries that center around fear and terror, including most of the fairy tales that we tell our kids. And we love it from the time we are kids. We like the stories of the wolf threatening three little pigs or Red Riding Hood, or the wicked witch who wants to eat Hansel and Gretel.
Part of it may be that these stories and movies do not actually scare us. Deep inside we know they aren’t real, but we get a rush and a thrill from them. They excite us and make us wonder what is going to happen and we love that. Another part of it is that since we know it isn’t real, we also know it is all going to turn out alright in the end. Even if it doesn’t, it was just a book, movie or story. This gives us that adrenaline rush we love while all the while knowing we can return to the safety of our lives. However, I think it also lets us connect, in a way, to those people of long ago who had to live with the actual fears of living in the dark, amid unknown noises and fears.
Whatever the feeling may be that we love or hate (and I know many people who hate horror movies too), fear is real, and, in a way, I guess it is a good thing. We still teach our children to be afraid of certain things, like fire, strangers, sharp objects, etc. Yet, there are still things we find outside of that we are afraid of as we grow up. We live with it, we tried to hide it, maybe we are the only people who are aware of it, but somewhere, in the dark recesses, it’s there and every once in a while it comes out.
So, what’s your fear? what are you afraid of? Don’t worry, there’s no such thing as an irrational fear – spiders, snakes, clowns, the dark, blood, bugs, Barry Manilow – whatever it may be, if it’s real to you, it counts. Let me know – if you can face it.
Tomorrow we talk about nightmares. Sleep tight.
Filed under: Books, Emotions, Movies | Leave a Comment
Tags: fear, horror movies, phobophobia
I know I said I would post yesterday regarding my highs and lows for the day, but of course doctor’s appointments got in the way. That’s okay though, because it actually gives me a high and low to talk about for the day. Up to that point, the high of the day wasn’t going to be very exciting. So let’s start with the low. Yesterday was my neurological visit. I see the neurologist every three months to see how things are progressing as far as my legs and feet. Since my illness in 2009, I suffer from what is known as critical care neuropathy. Now, my low for the day comes through what my doctor had to say. Before we even got into any type of exam, we sat and talked about how I was feeling. I told him I had been feeling better, but everything seemed kind of the same as the last time I saw him. I did tell him I stopped wearing the braces about a month ago and how I felt about that.
Then we get to my low for the day. he said that I need to understand that patients who have critical care neuropathy typically have very serious illnesses that have caused them to be this way. He said, quite frankly, most people who have this are so sick that the neuropathy is the least of their problems and they usually do not survive. He told me that I am a unique case in that I survived something that I probably shouldn’t have ever survived and unfortunately I was stuck with the consequences of the survival. He went on to say that there is little research done about the subject because there are so few people who live with it long-term. And he also said that most often it is not something that ever really goes away.
Needless to say, it was a little depressing, but I had been preparing myself for this for a long time now. All I have ever really wanted was for some doctor to give me some type of resolution and here it was for the taking. Okay, I can live with this, this is what I really wanted know. I wanted to know what it is I have to deal with for the rest of my life.
Now on to the high. He went ahead and did his exam, testing my feet and seeing how I walked, what I can can’t do, the same stuff he always does. He also checked my reflexes, which he does every time as well. This time, he spent a little more time on my left leg than usual. My left leg has been weaker than my right since I got out of the hospital and is more sensitive to pain. He checked my upper leg and lower leg over and over, pressing and poking. Yes it hurt. A lot. It always does. He knew that already. He looked up at me and asked “do you feel that?” I said of course I do, it hurts. What he was encouraged by was beyond the pain, however. He knew it hurt, he told me, but you actually had a nerve reaction to it, which is a good sign. He seems encouraged by the whole thing. He then tells me he thinks I have a good chance to recover, he just doesn’t know how long it could take. It took me 3 years to get to this point. He said it could be another 4 or 5, maybe even longer, but he can envision a day when I can walk without pain and perhaps normally again. No, of course he prefaced this with what is normal now may not be what normal was 3 years ago, but that’s okay, at least it is a glimmer of hope.
The other thing that made it a high was that he told me he wants me to get off taking Lyrica. Neither one of us thinks it’s helping much anyway and I hate the side effects. Unfortunately, Lyrica is not one of those medicines you can just stop taking. It’s a slow process and I am on a high dose now, so we have to slowly step down off of it. It will take months, but he says by this time next year, I won’t be taking it anymore. It was all pretty encouraging to me and I left feeling good with the hope that things are looking up. That trip to Dublin really was a life changer.
Anyway, that was my high and low for the day. Hopefully you tried it out on your own and can talk about it at your dinner table from now on. I also asked a few people on Twitter about it and got responses from James L. Brooks and Goldie Hawn. If you want to see their replies, you can check the comments section from my last post.
Well, this post went on a little longer than I had hoped, but for the next post I would like to get into a pet peeve or two I have lately regarding a couple of things. I also want to do some future posts on the World Series while it’s still going and talk a little bit about Halloween in the coming days as well and some of the spooky things that go along with it. We’ll get to all that though. There’s plenty of time. Unless of course Hurricane Sandy sweeps us all away on Monday. We’ll see what happens.
Filed under: Emotions, Family | Leave a Comment
Tags: critical care, critical care neuropathy, highs and lows, highs and lows for the day, neurologist, neuropathy
I really like that song, by the way. Marvin Gaye and Tami Terrell do a great job with that one. And it does help a little bit for me to segue into today’s topic. It really concerns something we have started doing on a regular basis here at home and I have to give credit to Sean spending so much time in Delaware this summer for the reason for it.
It’s something really simply that Michelle’s family in Delaware would do around the dinner table each evening. Each person has to say what their personal high for the day was and what their personal low for the day was. Sean thought it was a great way to let everyone know how you’re day went. I think it’s great for a few reasons. Number one, it’s a great conversation starter around the dinner table. It gives us all something to talk about and it gives us each a chance to see a little bit into each other’s day. We can see what each person was most proud of that day or happy about. We also get to learn of anything that didn’t go so well.
It’s also a great chance to let the family in on anything that may be bothering you that day. We have had it open up some interesting conversations around the table about particular problems and what may be the best way to deal with them. I think it gives us the opportunity to not just air grievances, which it does, but to talk about maybe something that is really bothering you that day. The rest of the family should know because it helps to get it out in the open, but they also may be able to supply some type of solution that you may not have thought of before to work around the trouble.
As for the highs, it gives us a great chance to pat each other on the back. Sean can talk about what he was glad he accomplished during the day or something that he had the most fun doing. Michelle and I get to perhaps hear about things that we may not have heard about before from him, but then we also get to tell each other (and Sean) about what was best about our day. It could be something really small, like finding a five dollar bill in your jeans pocket that you didn’t know was there, or something great like the start of a new job (Yeah Michelle! She just started a new job working for Tiffany & Company). It really doesn’t matter how big the accomplishment is, as long as it was important to you.
I think the whole process also helps out each person as well. it makes you evaluate your day and forces you to find things on two levels. One, you need to find what was the best part of your day. No matter what you did during the day, there was something that was the high point of it, even if it was just getting a second cup of coffee in the morning (sometimes the day starts out that feeling like that will be the high point!). It also makes you consider what may not have gone so well. Again, there is always something we were not happy about during the day and it can be as big or as small as you want it to be. The point is it makes you consider it and then share it with everyone else. Most of the time, you feel much better about sharing it with everyone else. A lot of times, we get a pretty good laugh out of whatever was the low for the day for each other because many times it seems like something silly when you say it out loud. I guess we are pretty fortunate and blessed where we can say are low points are pretty insignificant in the big scheme of things.
So, perhaps you want to give this a try. Ask around the dinner table tonight what everyone’s high point and low point of the day was and see how it goes. Or even ask some friends, whoever you happen to be with at the end of the day or just ask yourself at the end of the day the same question. It will make you think for a few minutes and most likely smile about something.
Thank you Lyons family for teaching this to Sean. Michelle even asks Sean over the phone if she knows she won’t be home for dinner what his high and low was for the day.
I’ll let you know what my high and low for the day were tomorrow, but what is your high and low point for the day? Feel free to leave a comment here. You might surprise yourself by thinking of some things.
Filed under: Emotions, Family | 3 Comments
Tags: dinner table conversation, highs and lows for the day
Okay, so I have been more than a little busy the last week and haven’t had time to get over here, but here I am right now for a quick post. It’s been a pretty good ride since Ireland. Putting the doctors appointments aside (three this month, one still to go) which are kind of the norm for me every three months, we have had a lot of fun (great wedding Donna & Ron!) and are trying to get back into a routine, or at least I am. I am trying hard to get into an exercise and diet routine that I can stick to this time and work on getting some of this weight off.
I don’t eat a lot, at least I don’t feel like I east a lot anyway. I am trying some of these meal replacement shakes now for breakfast and lunch, since I never really ate breakfast anyway other than coffee. So I have a shake and some fruit for breakfast, a shake for lunch, yogurt for an afternoon snack and then dinner. We’ll see how it works out for meals. I have a couple of weaknesses that I need to get past in order for this to work. I love bread, and I have to stop loving it and I love salty snacks, which I need to say goodbye to as well. Put that along side of any the other temptations that may come up along the way and it gets tough.
Making it harder is that I work from home. Yes, working from home is great because I get to be home for Sean and Michelle and get stuff done, that, well frankly would never get done before when Michelle and I both worked outside the house. But being home all day also means I am home all day with food here, so it takes some willpower to try to stay away from certain things. I don’t want to deprive everyone else of things in the house just because I am trying to lose weight, so there are still things here I shouldn’t be eating. The trick for me is to just stay busy, and thankfully my work keeps me pretty busy lately (thank you Melanie :)).
So the real hard part comes with exercise. Nobody likes to exercise. Okay, I shouldn’t say that, because there are people who do like to exercise regularly. I know I always feel better when I get into a routine of exercising, but it’s hard for me to do. Having problems with my legs and having compromised breathing do not make exercise even remotely enjoyable. Right now, I can go about 20 minutes before my breathing starts to become a problem. I know it will get better over time the more I do it, I just have to force myself to do it. That’s always been the hard part for me, and now it is even worse since I really have a built-in excuse to give up. So I have to be determined and press myself harder.
When I was sick in the hospital, I lost about 50 pounds. I have put that back on in three years plus some extra. Right now, I am 230 pounds. I think I would feel much better about myself if I can get rid of at least 40 pounds, so that is going to be my goal for the moment. Now I just have to make sure I stick with my goals. I need to do it for a better me. Heck, after going through everything else and making it through, it’s the least I can do for my family to make sure I stick around longer, so I am going to do it. I’ll keep you up to date on my progress.
As for the rest of the blog, I think it will help to keep me busy and away from snacking as well. I want to turn my energies towards things like this anyway, and this gives me a good excuse to do that. I had always set a goal to write at least 1,000 words a day on my blog, but now with 2 blogs, I think I can do that pretty easily.
So tomorrow starts the adventure of the new me and the new blog approach. I am going to start with something simple, just an idea that we have picked up lately as family that you may find you want to do as well. Check back and see what I am talking about. My goal is to make this blog a place where I can provide some information on different things, give some viewpoints and give you a chance to give your views, occasionally vent about what’s going here, there and everywhere, but most of all have some fun.
Fun starts tomorrow, be ready!
Filed under: Change, Family, Me | 2 Comments
Tags: diet, exercise, new attitude, new blog, willpower, working from home
The Office of Iguana Flats 